Hi Neighbor,
If you haven’t yet heard, there’s a new sheriff in town patrolling Staten Island’s highways and byways. Not in the NYPD sense. In the DOT sense. (That’s Department of Transportation, for those not up-to-speed with NYC’s pot of alphabet soup agency names.)
Roseann Caruana is our new DOT chief. The borough commissioner. Her job -- all-things road related.
On Staten Island, that’s scary. “Traffic” is a dirty word in these parts. But Commissioner Caruana has to know that. She’s lived here since 1990, these days in New Dorp, so she must have found herself in her share of Hylan Boulevard chaos. And fallen into her share of Staten Island potholes.
“I drive around Staten Island on the weekends. I see what the issues are . . . " the commissioner told our transportation reporter, Erik Bascome. “I have a huge investment here, and I think that’s beneficial to the people of Staten Island because I care about what happens in this borough.”
That’s good news, although I’m not sold on the commissioner’s suggestion that we jump on our bikes and pedal to the bus stop or train to get to work. Bike lanes or not, a ride down Hylan Boulevard in a suit and tie during AM rush hour doesn’t appeal to me. But that’s just me.
I’ve been riding around Staten Island, too – me since I got my license at 17 – so over the next couple of weeks, I thought I’d offer just a few of the things on my mind a new commissioner might consider. Let’s start with the obvious -- jammed streets.
Q. When did Staten Island streets get so skinny?
A. When auto manufacturers here and abroad started churning out SUVs and pickup trucks so huge, owners can’t even get them in their garages.
True, Staten Island roads were designed when the Lenape Indians were galloping down what’s now Victory Boulevard. Difference is, there weren’t many stagecoaches parked on the side of the road back then, and the Lenape’s horses were slim compared to a Cadillac Escalade. Why do our neighbors – or maybe you – need vehicles so humongous they can use a Hyundai as a spare tire? Drivers will tell you it’s all about safety. Maybe. Or maybe it’s all about image. You know, that Macho Man thing.
A 1956 Cadillac Coupe de Ville -- when cars had character. (Lynn Ischay/The Plain Dealer)The Plain Dealer
Image was a thing when I was a kid. The hulks Detroit put out in the days Donald Trump thought America was great – the ’59 Caddy’s with enormous tail fins and bullet lights, or ’57 Oldsmobile Super 88 with a front bumper so massive it could face off with an Army tank – disappeared as gasoline prices went up and emission restrictions tightened. But admit it – those were the glory days of the American automobile. Not like today when you can’t tell the difference between a Hyundai and a Mercedes.
The interior of a Mercedes-Benz Maybach SUV. No wonder they're so big.
Cars probably won’t get smaller and our roads won’t get wider. So what do we do? Have you tried to navigate one of our two-way side streets with a Chevrolet Suburban SUV staring you in the headlights and cars parked on the side of the road, leaving you nowhere to go?
This is going to whip up the neighbors:
Make skinny streets one way. As many as possible. The streets you can’t, ban parking on one side of the road.
New Yorkers screamed when the city made streets like Fifth and Madison avenues in Manhattan one-way in the mid-1960s. But it works. Just like congestion pricing will work if NYC can ever get it done.
Congestion pricing won’t happen on Staten Island. And despite Commissioner Caruana’s best intentions, try as she might, enough Staten Islanders will never ride a bike or take a bus to the Mall.
One-way streets won’t reduce traffic. But at least you’ll be able to get down a road without being forced into someone’s driveway when a monster pickup is heading straight for you.
OK, neighbors . . . bring it on. I can hear fingers furiously pounding keyboards already. “What are you, an idiot?” will be one of the mild ones.
But if you have a better idea, bring that on, too.
Brian
Oh by the way: For the streets that remain two-way, consider this: No parking for the first 10 feet off the corner so cars can turn onto a street while another waits to pull out of the street. It’s common in neighboring New Jersey. Next week, let’s talk about those crosswalk countdown signs -- and red-light cameras.
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April 11, 2021 at 05:02PM
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